the undiagnosed/undiagnosable/unfindable illness

Am I crazy? Or, am I going crazy?
That's what it feels like to live with pain, fatigue and have no answers.

Since February last year I have had a myriad of illnesses, joint pain, anaemia, digestive issues WAY out of the ordinary, and then I became unable to eat lots of different food. It seemed we had an answer when the anaemia was diagnosed, and I have had a rise in my iron levels though it's very slow and it is still fluctuating.

Through most of last year I had horrid aching pain in the base of my thumbs and my wrists, then my elbows and ankles. I've had xrays, blood tests, you name it = nothing. Well it turns out that all of a sudden I also have high blood pressure too. The doctor has checked for lots of stuff and my amazing naturopath has helped so much and it feels like the symptoms are being managed, until a new one pops up that is.

About 3 months ago the tops of my thighs (the leg joint) began aching and now they hurt so much that I have to lift my legs up to put my shoes on and if I sit too long in the car or in my chair at work I become so sore and stiff that it's hard to walk.
On my last trip to the Dr he suggested I see a psychiatrist, which I'm happy to do, and there has been a suggestion that this might be stress related. I can see that stress can cause a lot of things, but this persistent pain and anaemia seem out of the realm of the possible there; I can't make my iron stores low by being too busy! AND they seem to be having a very hard time getting into the normal range.

I'm seriously frustrated because I know I'm having a lot of physical symptoms and it's actually the cause of me feeling down and unsociable (mostly). I do have some psychological 'stuff' I have to deal with and I'm doing that with herbal meds and seeing a counselor, but I just want someone to tell me I'm not going crazy and that something is actually wrong, something that can be fixed!

So, what can I DO now? The wondrous people in  my life don't let me be a shithead and wallow in my self pity, even when I REALLY REALLY want to! (you know who you are :) )
So after a week of a few meltdowns (some heavy uni work and no sleep didn't help), I've decided the old saying 'If it is to be, it is up to me', is all I CAN take control of right now.
I definitely am unhappy due to working too much, never having down time, and clearly this health issue is having some effect on my mental health. I have however, stopped my online teaching as of last week, so now I can focus just on my PhD and have some relaxo time. 
What can I do? All the good sources say that most illness will improve with better eating and exercise, so I can focus on that. I'm detoxing from anything outside of protein, veg, fruit and nuts right now, plus starting Tai Chi tomorrow and meditation wednesday, as well as seeing a counsellor and a naturopath. 

I'm going to do what I can first and maybe that will either make it go away or possibly highlight it further. 

Either way, I have to get out of this stupid rut and start really REALLY be good and loving to myself, starting......NOW! 

Billy 

Ultrasound and a crap day

I went for the horrid internal ultrasound today, the technician was really lovely and chatted with me in an easy friendly way. It was uncomfortable and unpleasant but I made it! 

However, the ultrasound showed nothing at all, my recent bloodwork is fine and nothing at all is showing up as abnormal. 

I've spent one week with revolting cramps coming every ten minutes as well as some 'other' symptoms. 

This is very confusing, I'm awaiting a call from my gp now and hope that we can find out what the hell is going on! 

When I got home my bedroom door had been accidentally locked and so I couldn't get in to keep working on my thesis, total fail day!!