To Prozac or not to Prozac, that is the question

After many months of debating if I would go, I saw a psychiatrist last Friday. He was fantastic, knowledgable and interested in the biology of the illness I've had. He also posited the illness might be caused by my brain (held memories etc).This last 18 months I've felt it was the other way round and in a way I am about to run an experiment on that.

Here's what ill do: 

I see a therapist (mostly) weekly and I can attribute a lot of how I'm shifting on things to him. Gestalt therapy seems to work for me like nothing else has really, so...

firstly I'll keep seeing him while I can and keep growing in self awareness and working on my stuff

Secondly I'll finish this detox off in 8 weeks and see if some of the pain and other symptoms improve 

Thirdly I'll go to meditation twice a week, Tuesdays and Saturdays and 

fourthly I'll deliberately schedule in time to just chill out and give time to me when I 'feel like' I should be doing something else and follow some self care advice. 

I'll also do some walking 4-5 times a week 

So at least once a week I'll come and update on my blog to keep a record and see what happens. 

If it turns out I need the meds.... Well I do! 

UPDATE: last Friday I stopped taking St. John's wort and the herbal neurocalm, I was preparing to take the Prozac. Turns out I may not need those either. I've felt happier and more relaxed since then almost no anxiety (perhaps the increasing anxiety was a side effect of St. John's wort). The other changes: getting minimum 7-8 hours sleep, mediation both at home and at a local Buddhist centre, and some gentle walks have helped immensely, plus no sugar or packaged foods.  This is the happiest and calmest I've felt in ages. I must attribute a lot if this to the work with my counsellor...life changing stuff! I've taken on his challenge of giving myself the right to do things I want to do, the right to self care and self love.... This I suspect is helping too :)

My body aches seem to have been worsening in the last month, I'm not sure why but ill see how I am in the next few weeks as I progress with the detox 

Billy

UPDATE:
Due to some early week mad rushing, I've taken 2 days off the detox but I'll be back on tomorrow.
About 3 weeks ago I noticed my right eyelid starting to twitch and put it down to tiredness...but now that I've been maintaining a good 7-8 hours a night it should reduce. However it is becoming a bit intrusive.

Reflexivity - I'm keeping a reflexive journal for my PhD research and I need to just put it out there....I'm WAY too binary about things...yes yes I know you all know that! For me this is a big challenge and I think it works together with the 'unravelling' work I'm doing with my counsellor...perhaps together these two things will help me see the middle ground...the blurry bits that DRIVE ME NUTS!!!! :D